memory

i'm sorry about neglecting this blog :( i feel like i have no time to do anything yet i manage to spend so much time procrastinating ...

anyway i just remembered this memory which amuses me but isn't really interesting. i just thought i'll make it a post and i'll keep doing this for any random memory which i retrieve :)

i just realised that my writing must be a pain for Catherine to read :( sorry :( i will stop .... now :)

My family had just finished visiting the Forbidden City in Beijing, but when we were about to leave apparently they sealed the main exit route for the lowering of the flag at sunset. We would have stayed and watched the ceremony, but the sunset was in quite a while (at least an hour). While trying to find another exit, we ended up finding ourselves in a Hutong and we had no idea where we were :\

So naturally I decide to ask someone where the nearest metro station was - our hotel was right next to a metro station. I asked an elderly lady beside me in my appalling mando 'Excuse me, where's the nearest metro station' and then the lady gave me a weird look and said with an accusing tone “你问我，我问谁呢？” which directly translated means "If you're asking me, who do I ask?".

Upon turning to my mum and dad in a bit of a shock, I saw that they were laughing at me ... unknowingly we had found ourselves a spot in the middle of a tourist group! (We were travelling individually). 

Haha the story is pretty lame because there isn't much substance in it, but thinking about it makes me grin so I thought that I should share it with you guys :) I was also thinking about compiling a novella about anything I can remember from my primary school life ... but naturally I haven't got anything further than the title page and one sentence. Where does all my time go?!?!

outdated posts

Now … THE CONGREGATION OF OUTDATED POSTS! Most of these posts have got to do with weird stuff I’ve seen outside of which I took a photo of, planning to make a post about something which I saw. But then, naturally, I forgot about them and now they’re sitting in my phone …

My brother has a constantly runny nose. My mum often says how it’s lucky only my brother has it and that I don’t … but NOW I DO. OMG. MY NOSE IS SO ITCHY AND I SNEEZE LIKE 5 TIMES MORE THAN USUAL. It is sad.

I know that the photo’s kinda blurry but WHAT DO YOU SEE?!?! Well, my brother probably saw it differently to you. As we walked past this in coles, he asked my mum:

Jason: “isn’t that really unhygienic? I mean, so much bacteria and stuff can get it in!!”

Mum: “… not really. Cause they suck out all the air and stuff.”

Jason: “what … ?! OMG RIGHT! I thought it was just a slab of meat on a piece of paper sitting there haha!:

Me: “OMG LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!”

Yeah well I took a photo of my bottle cause it looked cool. Like this dice photo I had ages ago. Cause the front’s heavier and it looks like it’s floating! Yay.

so I was eating snakes from an unfinished lolly packet (cause we had to make my brother’s lolly bags) and I realised that all the snakes had little smiley faces on them. Made my day!

and this is a photo of the birthday card that my brother gave my mum. I remember overhearing Jason ask mum what ‘style’ she wanted him to draw the card, and mum said that she didn’t mind. So my brother drew it this way (he’s so ARTISTIC im sure I left my share of creative talent in my mum’s womb when I was born so my brother absorbed it). My mum laughed when she saw it and asked why the nostrils were so big and my brother poofed his chest out and said ‘it’s a type of style, mum!’

this is a popcorn packet that I ate from. It said coolpak and I thought of gaypak and then I thought of Katherine. So I just took a photo before throwing it away. Time to look for an awesomepak.

we were looking at cutlery in myer at Hurstville, and we came across this spoon. I showed my brother and we started laughing … what’s the point of a spoon when it’s got a hole in the middle?

after seeing Katherine near myer on the same day my brother and I noticed a set of screws and locks on the wall. We noticed that you can see a cow and a dog in the wall ‘decoration’. Can you see them? :D 

Last but not least, I was looking in target for a possible present for my kris kringle and was just looking at the cards. Then I saw this. Can any of you guys spot what’s wrong with this card? >:) 

FIREEEEE!!!

27 september :) it's like sometime between 10 and 11 and i'm writing in my diary (i know so because my diary entry cut off and then i wrote "I'll continue writing in this tomorrow!") when my dad shouts HEY WAAAH (in this canto accent) THERE'S A HUGE FIRE OVER THERE! and obviously we're all like running to the bedroom window where we look to the car and it's in flames!

dad says OMG CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! and i'm like OKAY! but then my mum was like wait, hold on ... and my brother's like OMG should we record this? and i was like. "what?! okay i'm gonna call 000 now and jason, you take photos!" so i called.

it surprises me cause i thought that calling 000 was special and they would pick up immediately .. but they actually picked up after THREE WHOLE RINGS! that's insane. i wasn't listening properly so the moment they picked up i was like OMG THERE'S A FIRE OPPOSITE OUR HOME- and they hung up.

well, not really. turns out that they were asking me if i needed an ambulance, fire engine or the police. so they hung up once they heard 'fire'. and redirected me to the fire department. after i explained everything, the fire engines and police cars came in several minutes. but then again that could have been because some other person called already.

funny thing was, no one ran out of the home that the fire was right in front of it. this is one of the photos jason took (it's really blurry and you cant see anything) cause it was so dark and stuff:

well yeah :) we then went downstairs to see a few neighbours watching the firemen put the fire out. they then took out torches and stuff and used a ... crowbar? to try to open the bonnet. i suppose they were trying to figure out what triggered the fire? i mean it wasn't hot and there didnt seem to be anything that couldve started it ... but i know that the car was right underneath an electricity pole so it was really dangerous =/

she did it again.

a complaint.

this time because i was getting distracted from my work because my brother manages to wrench open a treasure box thing that i couldn't open since like 7 years ago. yeah, i was pretty excited so i started looking at the jewellery and reminiscing but then my mum told me to get on with my work since i was the one who kept complaining i didnt have enough time in the holidays to finish my work.

and of course i apparently threw a cold shoulder at her and put on a bad attitude and made my face contorted apparently .. all in a matter of time between one sentence and another. sure. i wish my brain could make myself throw all these signals subconsciously in a split second too.

she's also getting very complaining herself. currently, the most common phrase she says is: 'if it weren't for me ...' like, i know it's true but you don't have to rub it in our faces. like if there are dishes in the sink when she walks in, she will definitely mutter (mind you, her mutter is far from inaudible) '-sigh- what is the problem with the people in this house ... they're so lazy .. i'm always the one washing the dishes ... of course no one else will ... it's always me ... next time i won't wash them and see how you survive ...' and if there are unfolded clothes on the sofa she will say 'omg ... of course everyone is too lazy to fold the clothes ... they pretend they're blind when they walk past so they don't have to fold it ... it always has to be me doesn't it ... if i don't fold it i'm sure not a single one of you would ...'

AND IT'S JUST BLATANTLY ANNOYING. yes, i know you're the really cool person  keeping the house together. yes, i do. but i do my part and it would really help if you could stop 'muttering' around the house everyday because i'm never going to get a moment of silence coupled with your bickering with dad. i'll fold the clothes, whatever but PEOPLE FORGET, OK?! it's just frustrating when every second sentence your mum makes is a complaint. yes, i know, my bro, dad and i are far from perfect but your annoying tone that you add to the end of your sentences doesnt encourage us a bit.

but then there are the good times :) we mahjonged for 2 hours yesterday ... AND IT WAS SO WEIRD CAUSE THEY ALL WON GAMES BY THEMSELVES. like, they got the thing they wanted by drawing so we all had to pay them. oh, and did i mention that i didnt even win a single game? aha, that was funny :)

a complaint

this is going to be stereotypical teenage superficial rant about my parents - well, in this case, my mum. stop reading here if you're disgusted.

you know when your mum says something that they dont like about you? okay well my mum does that.

and after she says it i'm like . . . ok . . . and you know how there isn't exactly much you can do? so i usually keep quiet and continue what i'm doing. what does she expect me to do? start screaming 'I AM SO SORRY I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!! FORGIVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!'? that's weird.

so just then i was drinking milk when she complained about how irresponsible i am getting. so i was like :( really? oh dear. and i kept quiet drinking my milk and, naturally, when i finished i went into the kitchen to wash my cup.

THEN MY MUM GOES OH SO WHAT'S THIS ATTITUDE YOU CAN ONLY ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS AND WHEN I CRITICISE YOU YOU THROW A COLD SHOULDER AT ME? GO ON, IGNORE ME ONE DAY YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS HORRIBLE ATTITUDE OF YOURS.

and i'm like O.O WAIT WHAT!? and the thing is, after that i AM angry cause she's leaving me no options. if i try to explain or say that i'm not, OH OF COURSE then i'll be talking back. if i keep quiet I'M IGNORING HER. that really really gets on my nerves.

fgsdf. argh.

there was a mini cooper outside my home

. . . it was really cool cause since Maggie keeps spotto-ing on yellow cars and i poke her when i see a mini cooper, we talked about seeing a yellow mini cooper.

a photo! :)
. . . sorry about the graininess and artificial-ness of the photo . . . it was dark and i really wanted a photo without flash so i took one of a blotch and then just dragged the brightness notch to its fullest. oh and i also kind of -cough- schmooshed the license plate -cough-.

very badly taken photo of a yellow mini cooper

the story:
i was packing my stuff on my desk, which faces the window which faces the road :)
FLASH OF YELLOW.
me: wait what that looked like a mini cooper .... -looks out window-
DDDDD: OMG IT IS! =D
-attempts to take photo but fails due to excess, unkempt shrubbery outside our flat-
mum: you can throw the rubbish out and then take a photo ...
me: :D yes yes yes

. . . and so i throw the rubbish and take these photos. it just occurred to me that my mum could be hiring people with yellow mini coopers to park outside and make me throw the rubbish. ANYWAY. yeah :)

an awkward dinner atmosphere

just finished dinner.

it was silent. no one spoke and i didn't watch the korean drama i was looking forward to at dinner. why? well, maybe because my mum spazzed at every single member of my family before it.

• apparently my brother's space project was hogging up all the space in the corridor and annoying everyone (to which he complained that everyone was STEPPING ON IT, to which my mum threw yet another spaz - a direct attack at my brother's self-centredness.
  
• me? because apparently, when my mum calls me from THE KITCHEN to MY ROOM i am DELIBERATELY not replying. because, of course, i only reply when she's calling me to some sort of food (sarcastic tone intended, but not that i don't like food) and not when she needs me to help her do some sort of chore - in this case, take the washing back.
  
  oh, and did i mention that i accidentally threw my school skirt into the washing machine? accidents happen. you see, i only have one ... and it usually takes more than a day for washing to dry. oh and what exacerbates the situation is that yesterday i unintentionally spilt the soup when mum was telling me not to move the table. i did hear her say it ... i just didn't know that when i stood up my hip would brush the table and spill the soup ... so therefore, with what happened. my mum is keen that i am not listening to her.
  
  
• my mum's always snappy toward my dad. it's like there's some sort of competition between them two to catch each other off guard and yell at each other.

yeah, so i think you get my point when i said it was awkward. they're talking now, since it's taken me almost an hour to type this but i'm still sad i didn't get to watch an episode. after all, it's one of the only things i really look forward to doing at home.

whitewater world

linked the photo album of our trip in the title :D

i'm sorry but this entry isn't going to be as detailed as the movieworld entry :(

my mum and I woke up at around 7:40 while my dad and my brother woke up at around 8:20. enough said. apparently Horizon's family got up at 6 o.O wow. after we woke up and prepared, ate breakfast, etc. we kids had some time together! so, of course, we  played uno :) ... and big 2!

Horizon and I against the hotel view

Big 2 :) before we left ...

travelling to whitewater world on a non-pink bus, we passed wet 'n' wild. you really should have seen the line. it was longer than the entrance path and stretched across and around the entire front of the theme park! we (*cough* Horizon *cough*) took some photos.

we didn't get a lot of photos at the theme parks this time we went to the Gold Coast, so there weren't much especially since you wouldn't go on a water slide with a camera.

after the boys ignorantly ran away leaving everyone else to find a table with seats to leave our towels and stuff, Horizon and I really couldn't be bothered to find them. Afterall, it was a THEME PARK. so we decided to go on the Octopus :D and maggie won .... (I was so sure that I wouldn't come last since heavier people have a higher maximum velocity ... -hmph-) and managed to continue sliding several metres after where I stopped. After reuniting with our brothers who admitted to going on the Wedgie after lining up fo 5 MINUTES (later maggie and I lined up 30 minutes + for it), we decided to go on some rides together: (some details may be dead due to my memory being ... very bad)

• The Rip
• this was quite cool :) our tub thingo was meant to go around the basin once and on its second trip descend us into darkness, but the boys tried to make us go around a second time. the current won.
• The Green Room
• this was a really fun ride. the majority of the ride was in a pitch black tunnel, so you never knew where you were going. I loved the sudden, unexpected drop, especially when I was going backwards the first time. The rest of the ride wasn't too scary, other than the second drop into the funnel which seems quite similar to the kamikaze in wet 'n' wild to me. It was really funny because most people didn't scream until the first significant drop - so as the group going several times before us descended into the darkness, they must have been going slower than the others because just milliseconds after my brother remarked 'they didn't scream ...' we heard a long and waning scream marking their encounter with the drop.
• The Hydrocoaster
• lining up for this, all four of us, dwelling on my brother's discovery of an artificial rainbow, made rainbows with our swimmers. we had the sun in the right spot and, flapping our damp swimmers, propelled minute water droplets into the air. They acted as prisms and we had a rainbow right next to us :) however, our brothers soon got bored and left the line ... leaving Horizon and I to have VERY interesting conversations. Content of such interesting conversations you may ask?

There was the word 'one' engraved onto the metal railing. We had just finished watching the Matrix. That led to our fascinating conversation about only the 'one' being able to read it ... eventually leading to our conclusion that I must be either the second or ... the 'two' -drumroll-

so there was a parking lot beyond the stairs we were lining up on and maybe a 20m drop or so. it was so funny because somehow the conversation went into issues about eyesight and I told Maggie how I'd pull at the edge of my eyes (you know how you do the stereotypical 'asian eyes' thing?) and adjust the pressure I apply to my eyes and I can see clearer. Maggie exploded. Not into smithereens, but into a roaring laugh. I WAS SERIOUS. Has anyone done that before? yes no? It really works! 

• The Wedgie
• Horizon wasn't allowed to wear her waterproof watch on the ride, so she had to take it off and put it in a felt bag which would be flushed down after she went ... i.e. before I would go (after 'mischievously' throwing Horizon in front of me in the line despite her protests against my intelligence). I had to laugh when I reached the bottom and Horizon puzzly asked me: 'Where's my watch?' after a laughing fit and deciding against the possibilities of walking all the way back up and retrieving it, one of the monitors spotted something right at the exit and asked Horizon if it were hers. it was :D

but of course the most interesting bit: the conversations we had during our wait. i was horrified. it was THE WEDGIE. like HOMGA it was THE WEDGIE (repetition reinforces my point as my english teacher explained to me). so then, like many other people would say i said: i'm gonna die D: ... then guess what Horizon says? at least you die wet :D very helpful. Horizon, in an attempt to make me feel better, convinced me that I had a lion in my stomach which would fly out the moment I stepped into the wedgie ... and I immediately thought of astro boy. why? because I have a mcdonald's happy meal astro boy that flies out of its capsule and breaks the glass :) i will find some way to post a photo ...

okay so I think those were the only rides we went on in whitewater world. other than the cave of waves where we braved the waves on a floaty that our brothers managed to secure and the nickelodeon pipeline plunge where Horizon and I embraced our childhood self and played in the water and got drenched by a huge bucket of water. after arriving at the hotel, Horizon and I went swimming. where Horizon scraped her chin :) it was very amusing. we were trying to be 'mermaids' (excuse the kid side of us) - where you sink down near the ground of the pool and make a snake-like motion to travel. Maggie went too low ... put it that way. she asked me if it was bleeding, and I said no. because I saw no blood.

but there were scratches that were red when we went back up to the hotel ...

anyway Horizon claims that the pool contained psycho water. why? because it made her go hyperactive (yes, feel oh so sorry for me). we ate at a Chinese restaurant in Surfers Paradise near our hotel :) it was quite yummy, just like tomorrow's ;) i recall playing uno and charades off my ipod touch that night, but I'm not too sure :D maggie's mum and my dad were always already asleep when we started playing ...

anxiety disorder, social phobia or laziness?

this post is going to be a rant - me about myself and my trivial problems.

put short, I seriously am considering myself to be a victim of at least one of the 'illnesses' (referring to laziness) in the title of this post. why? I will list some examples.

confessions which I believe contribute to my claim:

when I first entered my new Chinese class in 2010, I was so scared and nervous that my hands were leaving puddles of sweat wherever they touched. I was afraid - perhaps my insight into Chinese lessons before (I was only at  China's year 3 Chinese level and I picked up Chinese in Australian year 9) - that I wouldn't know anything and be the laugh of the class. Luckily, everything went well and the class was somewhere at my level, maybe even slightly behind. I felt as if I was part of the family by my second lesson.

i am not exactly sure what happened here, but I get the feeling none of the other new students to the class (i.e. Fiona, Emily, Jackie) felt the same way I did. Thinking back, I often don't understand why I was so scared.

Before the OC exam (you know the one you do in year 4?) I didn't eat my breakfast that morning. I was too nervous - I could barely open my mouth and only managed to eat half the sandwich. I felt like I would gag and vomit if I ate another bite and resorted to throwing it in the bin. I remember my dad seeing me bent over the bin and asking what I was doing - I lied and said that I was throwing the juice popper away, which I had used to bury the sandwich, in the bin.

I'm quite sure that this had nothing to do with eating disorders - it was just the nervousness. I highly doubt I will be able to survive high school if I refuse to eat everyday before and exam. Which is almost where i am heading now - i eat but not enough.

I had just finished the english component of the selective exam. running out of time, i coloured in C for the last eight questions, seconds before the instructor said 'pens down'. Walking with everyone else outside for a break, my mum offered me some chocolate to 'power up my brain'. I love chocolate. But I couldn't eat a single piece - resulting in the entire block being shared between all my friends. i could tell my mum was concerned. i knew that if the rest of the exam was this hard, I wouldn't be able to make it into the school I wanted to ... 

so. i couldn't eat before the OC and not even a snack during the selective. did i put too much weight onto these exams? maybe. I'm not sure. but I managed to do quite well in my selective, make it into my current school and stand up in the year 7 talent quest and perform without the nerves interfering.

every time i need to pack things to go somewhere which I don't go to often, I cannot get the thought of me missing something out of my head. oh and this reminds me: i spend far too long at my lockers for similar reasons. should i leave this book at school? it's always a minute long dilemma.

is this low self esteem? i don't know. is this my brain moving too slow? most likely. 

when i am going somewhere unfamiliar or via an unfamiliar route, I feel very self conscious and as if everyone is looking at me. I am unsure of exactly how to get there and feel extremely embarrassed when I have walked in the wrong direction and need to turn around and walk back. I often feel as if everyone notices that I have walked the wrong way and is laughing at me discretely, although I know that they can't possibly be doing that.

i experience this quite often - at least once per week. I try to avoid making eye contact with anyone so I end up looking at my feet. i had a phase of being scared of being alone (i would panic and get very nervous) but I noticed that it was only at some particular locations that I had not visited soon before I had been to that approximate area. Let me explain in my next example.

There were three places i couldn't go to alone at school - the library, the canteen and the lowers. They were all linked in that I didn't visit them often and never during my familiarising with the school. There was no problem with me visiting the library with my class, but i couldn't do it myself. I felt as if everyone was looking at me once I stepped into the lowers. I felt as if everyone was looking at me and getting agitated at my long decisions regarding what to buy for lunch - my first attempt to buy from the canteen went like this: stepping into the canteen, i headed to hot food. I didn't know what to buy. a meat pie, potato pie, sausage roll? chicken burger? everyone was pushing from behind me to get to the food before it ran out, so i resorted to stepping to the side and having my panic attack. Seeing my friend walk in, I walked over to her and explained my situation. She took her food and I, reaching for the chicken burger, found that area empty. I ended up buying a meat pie. The rest of the canteen trip was fine. But I managed to buy by myself most of the time from the canteen - i do now at least.

that went on for over a year - almost two.

some other factors which may contribute to my claim include: 

i feel as if every one of my acts in public is being scrutinised. i often feel very self conscious. i expect people to notice when i change one of my routines for good or bad. i put myself down more than i brag about myself. i like it when people are older than me so i have an excuse to not be as successful as them. I get jealous at the most pointless things quite easily but i tell noone. the list goes on and on and on ...

so. there are my complaints regarding me being nervous. bored yet? i think so. what is wrong with me you may ask? I don't know. i don't like erupting into a panic everytime I need to go somewhere unfamiliar. Now for my claims on laziness or memory loss.

mum on phone: jennifer could you please place the rice in the rice cooker at 5:30? 

me: ok!

mum comes home at 6:30: dinner time!

me remembering: oh no! ahhhh mum I forgot to cook the rice D:

mum is angry: why did I expect you to remember? can you actually TRY to remember next time?

the sad thing is that this has happened at least 5 times. all the other times I have had to set a reminder on my phone, otherwise I will forget. the point my mum is trying to make is that it is not my memory that is failing - rather it is my WILL to remember things. apparently I prioritise useless things and forget things that are important. i have no comment. something even more pointless and stupid:

i have left my milk in the microwave for several hours after it is heated at least, again, 5 times. I set it to microwave for 45 seconds, leave and forget about it. Usually someone else finds out when they use the microwave - once almost 12 hours later.

I can't help it! I don't do it deliberately but it's only been happening lately. What is happening to my brain? But of course - I'm just being lazy.

so that is my very long rant about my issues/problems. it seems as if this rant itself has been very pointless. so next time you see me lingering around, pop into my bubble and say hi ... it usually helps :D Please comment freely - I do not mind comments about my laziness :)

28/09/09

Today was another not-so-interesting day. Mum curled her hair at the salon today … it’s SO CURLY now. It would’ve looked like she had an afro if it was a bit more curly. Um … in the morning we went to the restaurant downstairs to have a breakfast yum cha.

Then, we went and played in an Asian version of Galaxy world.

We went back upstairs, and after going back down again to give a family friend’s relative something from them, we loitered in Hengbao Plaza and shopped a bit. When I went back up, my brother had monopolized the computer and I was left listening to music and lying around. Just as I took my work outside to do it, my grandpa turned on the TV so I decided to watch the news since I wouldn’t be able to concentrate. Dinner was made by grandma, and I hogged the computer after that. I was meant to be doing my work … and guess what I ended up typing?