Tuesday, March 29, 2011

an awkward dinner atmosphere

just finished dinner.

it was silent. no one spoke and i didn't watch the korean drama i was looking forward to at dinner. why? well, maybe because my mum spazzed at every single member of my family before it.
  • apparently my brother's space project was hogging up all the space in the corridor and annoying everyone (to which he complained that everyone was STEPPING ON IT, to which my mum threw yet another spaz - a direct attack at my brother's self-centredness.
  • me? because apparently, when my mum calls me from THE KITCHEN to MY ROOM i am DELIBERATELY not replying. because, of course, i only reply when she's calling me to some sort of food (sarcastic tone intended, but not that i don't like food) and not when she needs me to help her do some sort of chore - in this case, take the washing back.

    oh, and did i mention that i accidentally threw my school skirt into the washing machine? accidents happen. you see, i only have one ... and it usually takes more than a day for washing to dry. oh and what exacerbates the situation is that yesterday i unintentionally spilt the soup when mum was telling me not to move the table. i did hear her say it ... i just didn't know that when i stood up my hip would brush the table and spill the soup ... so therefore, with what happened. my mum is keen that i am not listening to her.

  • my mum's always snappy toward my dad. it's like there's some sort of competition between them two to catch each other off guard and yell at each other.

yeah, so i think you get my point when i said it was awkward. they're talking now, since it's taken me almost an hour to type this but i'm still sad i didn't get to watch an episode. after all, it's one of the only things i really look forward to doing at home.

Friday, March 11, 2011

in depth.

today one of my friends broke down because she couldn't handle the pressure of the many assignments that are due next week and her lack of time to complete them. immediately, of course, my friends began to comfort her and reassure her ...

which made me think. i was pretty stressed out yesterday ... I was already quite down and maybe pmsing, so when I realised it was 10 o'clock and I hadn't remembered anything for the prac test the following day, I began to crack too. everything seemed to be going wrong! i sadly released part of my annoyance on a close friend of mine, so i was quite relieved that she didnt appear to reject me this morning. i need to apologise.

do i have anyone in mind that I could probably go to in need of someone to talk to, someone to complain to, someone to cry to?

maybe i do. i can see several faces in my head at the moment ... but i don't know. it suddenly dawned on me that i have lots of friends ... but i haven't really decided on who are my closest ones. and as i am talking to a friend at this very moment about the difficulties of high school, i will continue to realise that i have only just begun my path to understanding what really is worth fighting for ...